Hey there! I’m Megan.
Cultivate Happiness Now.
I started this blog to empower other women to live their lives more intentionally, and to take their mental health and happiness into their own hands.
A little about me:
I am a coffee and book addict. I love to travel with the love of my life, J.
I have been described as a treat queen (do NOT trust me alone with a baked good if you ever want to see it again).
I studied literature in college, love to read, and I write poems and stories in my spare time. I love photography and films and I have a knack for remembering movie lines, so they’re running in my head 24/7.
I’ve moved about as many times as I am years old. I try to strike the right balance between being goofy and being serious. I have a big heart, big emotions, and I value the simple pleasures in life immensely.
I’ve never felt very drawn to having one nine-to-five, 40-hour-a-week job and trying to ascend the career ladder. This is in large part because I love to travel and I love to be free to visit friends and family whenever I wish, so working a job that only gives you 2 weeks vacation and sick days that accrue slower than a slug can cross a hiking path is pretty much unfathomable. That’s why I have made ends meet by finding various more flexible types of work that I can patch together and take time off when I want it.
If I’m thinking about myself, I started this blog so I could make a living doing something creative that I love, and hopefully never have to consider getting a typical 9-5 again.
If I’m not thinking about myself, I started this blog for you.
You see, my life these days is pretty great, but it wasn’t always like this. It has been a hard, tumultuous, messy road to get here.
I lost my dad when I was pretty young, and besides the obvious, heart wrenching, world-shattering grief that caused me, it had other more subtle effects. More subtle does not mean they weren’t insidious.
Having lost a parent when none of my friends at school had any idea what that was like made me aware of a growing chasm between my experience and maturity and the experience and maturity of others. But the problem was I didn’t have the capacity at that young age to realize that experiencing that loss when no one else my age had WAS the reason for me feeling like I just couldn’t connect with my peers.
I came up with another reason: in short, I suck. Over a period of many years, I kept adding nuance to this story that I was a terrible, loathsome person. That people despised me, that I was unlovable and incompetent and weird in the wrong sort of way. That I was too ugly or too heavy or [insert quality here] for everyone’s taste. And let me tell you, it’s a dangerous thing to let that go unchecked. I suspect you may already know that.
My blog could have been called Confessions of a Recovered Emo Kid, but that just didn’t have the same ring to it.
I have spent years of my life struggling with self loathing, feeling isolated and like no one understood me, and even had suicidal thoughts. I’ve experienced feeling the urge to self harm and I’ve acted on it. I’ve spent years in a relationship that was so unhealthy and toxic that it completely warped my sense of my self worth, and has had serious negative ripple effects into pretty much all areas of my life.
I finally decided to extract myself from that relationship after letting it drag on for way too long, and I was excited. I felt free. But I was also a total mess. I had become so isolated from everyone and I desperately wanted to make connections with people, but I felt like I didn’t really know how.
I felt scared to be alone, and unsure that anyone else would love me. But I left the relationship anyway because at some point along the line I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to make it through my entire life living the way things had been. Conditions were untenable. I wanted more. And that relationship was just the beginning. I started to entertain the idea that maybe my life could be different. Maybe my life could change. Maybe I could be happy. And that would mean I would have to somehow change myself.
If you can relate to any of this – if you have ever felt like you don’t fit in, don’t fit the mold, and have struggled with feelings of unworthiness or self loathing, then I created this blog for you.
This blog is here to help women who are in the messy middle, halfway between being a self loathing, self harming emo kid and being the happy, radiant, confident, fulfilled woman they know they can be, who are ready to actively cultivate a better life for themselves.
They just need some help figuring out how to get from point A to point B.
I want to help you shed your old skin and give you some tools to help you plan for stepping into the new you.
My strong suit is my desire to make things better. I am a MAJOR planner – or as I call it, a dreamer and schemer. Not like I’m Jennifer Love Hewitt in Heartbreakers or anything. What I mean is I LOVE to dream about all the ways my life could be amazing in the future, and then scheme (AKA MAKE A PLAN) about how I could possibly make that dream a reality. Usually it doesn’t involve killing anybody or marrying anybody.
That’s why I want my site to be a place that provides you with tools for dreaming and scheming, as well as tools for helping you get used to the idea of leaving your emo self behind. The more attractive the new you and the new life is, the easier it is to jump!
I want to provide you with simple ways to address one small aspect at a time of making your life a little easier, or enriching one facet of your well-being, with the idea that each of these things will come together to cultivate, with intention, a life that you are excited to live.
It’s my belief that the mass effect of small actions is the way to happiness.
Let’s take a look at my blog name for a second:
Cultivate: to foster the growth of; to improve by labor, care, or study; refine; encourage; to seek the society of
Cultivation requires intention, time, and patience. I believe that one of the keys to being happy is simply a matter of having the right attitude.
When we cultivate something, we also mentally prepare ourselves to be patient during a long or ongoing process. If you were cultivating a garden, you wouldn't plant seeds one day and expect those little plants to be fully grown the next morning. To enjoy the garden you must nurture and love it - improve it by labor and care - and indeed much of the enjoyment of the garden comes from this process itself, rather than just the end result. You've got to put yourself in the mindset that you are actively seeking the society of happiness.
I'm going to assume you know what happiness is, and skip to the "now" part.
I included "Now" to make you realize that you have the POWER to do things - right now! The past is gone, and the future isn't here yet. The now is really the only thing we have control over, moment by moment. I want you to feel inspired to take action and begin your cultivation process. Start small.
If it isn’t already clear, let me just say explicitly that I am not a mental health care professional, I’m not trained in psychology, and am not claiming to be an expert in any way. All I do on this blog is share things that I’ve experienced and learned, share things that have helped and inspired me, and try to impart a little wisdom from the perspective of someone who’s been there.
I’m doing this because I sincerely want to help you. Because I wish so much that I had had someone during that messy middle time - just ONE person who completely got it, who understood where I had been and where I was trying to go, and could see that I needed something, that I was melting down emotionally, struggling against the constraint of my cocoon.
I’m so glad you’re here.
If all of this sounds good to you, let’s be friends. Sign up for my email list so we can keep in touch, and I’ll make sure you don’t miss any new posts or updates.You can also follow me on social media by clicking one of the cubes in the bottom left corner of any page. Pinterest is my favorite! YouTube channel coming soon - won’t it be great to say you were my friend BEFORE I was catapulted into YouTube stardom? XD